Volume XXXIX

I. Red Tape 🛑

Since the 1500s, European governments have wrapped their most important documents (think royal orders, land grants, legal decisions) in actual red ribbon. It signaled seriousness but, like all things government, slowness.

As time passed, ribbon was swapped for tape in the vernacular, and “red tape” became the universal label for anything buried in procedure.

So the next time your Friday PTO request turns into a Slack message, email, password reset, and pending acceptance, know you’re wrestling with a habit five centuries in the making.

II. Shotgun Wedding 💒

This one traces back to the American West, when a pregnant woman’s father would literally show up with a shotgun if a reluctant groom needed “convincing.”

After all, they called it the Wild Wild West for a reason.

Gone are the shotguns. Now, it’s shorthand for when that old buddy’s marriage happened a bit sooner than expected — and you can’t help wondering if a tiny passenger might be involved.

III. Fly in the Ointment 🪰

This phrase pops up in old medical texts, back when ointments were the cure-all for pretty much everything. The idea was simple: even a single fly landing in a jar could ruin the whole batch.

One tiny contaminant, and suddenly your miracle salve was useless. It’s been used for centuries to describe that one annoying flaw that spoils an otherwise perfect plan.

Today, it’s your internet turning choppy during a career-defining Zoom call, or stepping squarely into a fresh landmine before squeezing shoulder-to-shoulder into the family minivan for a road trip.

It’s that little hitch in the plan that takes your old man from cool, calm, and collected to “just hold the damn light!” in about two seconds flat.

Keep on sending on. Forward to a friend.